'spose I should mention

I no longer work at the pool. It's been about two weeks now, and it's a good thing. I don't know how we ever would have found our house with me working so much. It was wearing on us. We couldn't have a discussion about the house without it dissolving into a fight. Not so good. We're not fighters. Chris definitely isn't. It probably also stemmed from the fact that when I was honest with myself about my deep down feelings, it didn't feel right. And then there was the fact that I just wasn't involved enough.

I enjoyed the pool and I miss the kids I worked with, but I'm not so sad I'm not at the pool right now. My last two days, it started really heating up in these parts, and I'm not sure we've had a day under 100 since then. Those last couple of days, it was so hot (How hot was it?) that the pool was no longer cool. It was worth it to jump in, though because hopefully upon exiting, there would be even a puff of a breeze across the wetness to cool you for just a moment. Blech. It was like swimming in a bath tub. I like a nice cool pool. I think that comes from being a swimmer when I was young. Competitive swimming pools are supposed to be kept in the low seventies. That and the fact that we were always in the super-freezing Pacific, I got accustomed to the cold water.

It was really hard for me to quit. I knew I needed to. I really needed to. I was frazzled. But, I felt like a quitter. Why couldn't I make it work? I'm sure some people could, but the combination of everything just made it not right for me. The house-hunting, trying to manage my own business stuff, the working situation, the heat, the hours. It just wasn't working for me. I felt really bad leaving the kids that worked for me, like I was abandoning them. But, I had to get over myself and remember that they didn't really need me. Everything would go on the same way without me. Sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow. I also had to remind myself that we'd all be going our separate ways in about 3 weeks anyway. I quit on a Friday and Sunday was my last day. It was weird being there for those two days because they'd already replaced me and that person was trying to take charge while I was still there. Again, I just had to let it go. She wasn't doing anything personal to me, and very soon, it wouldn't matter one iota. So I just enjoyed hanging with the friends I'd made over the two months I spent at the pool. Sometimes I miss it, but mostly (like almost all the time) not so much.